The One with all The Internal Screaming
by HopelessHogwartian394
Summary: Tropey as shit and fluffy as hell, this is the fake dating fic literally noone asked for but is hitting the internet anyway.
1. Chapter 1

This was not how Marinette had anticipated her day ending up when she woke up that morning.

Marinette might be 23 years old and moderately in control of her own life, but the last thing anyone expects while at work is an unusually frantic Adrien Agreste to kidnap her as she leaves for lunch.

His hair is ruffled and his collar is crooked, and he is steering her through the streets at an awkwardly brisk pace. Marinette is trying really hard not to get distracted by the arm snaked around her shoulders, but it's tricky.

"Mari I'm soso sorry I messed up big time I need to ask a really big favour of you please can we talk?"

Marinette, trotting to keep up with her friend, nods. "Sure Adrien, but do you think we could slow down a little? You have long legs and I really don't." He doesn't slow down at all, continuing to urge her along in the direction of his home.

* * *

Adrien has not had the best day so far. A meeting with his father is never the most attractive of prospects. Nor is the subsequent interrogation about his various life choices. At least he got to see Nathalie, which is aways nice.

Adrien knows his teenaged self would be delighted at such attention from his chronically absent parental unit. His teenaged self has never been pressured about his chronic lack of girlfriend.

His teenaged self has never panicked under pressure and made up an imaginary girlfriend.

Adrien might have a few problems, the least of which is that he needs to find a girl who can pass as said imaginary girlfriend by tomorrow night.

Then again, he might just have a solution to that particular quandary.

* * *

"I panicked, and, uh, well, you see, the first girl I thought of was, um, Ladybug, so I described her and now I need someone who looks enough like Ladybug and Marinette, I know we're not very close but you look a lot like her and please, Marinette, I need to ask you a massive favour."

He looks so pleadingly wide-eyed and desperate, and Marinette, despite her best efforts, and find the heart to say no. "What can I help you with, Adrien?"

He leans forward over his bowl of stew. "I need you to pretend to be my girlfriend."

* * *

Marinette spits out her drink all over Adrien's dining room table. Of course she does. How could she not?

"I'm sorry, what?" She bursts out in surprise. "N-not that I won't help you, I-it's just, unexpected, is all."

His face lights up. "So you'll help? Really?"

Marinette nods. "How could I not." She places her hand on his. "We're friends. Of course I will."

Adrien twists their linked hands to grasp hers more firmly. Marinette tries very hard not to squeak. "Thank you so much Marinette I'll make it up to you I swear."

The gentle pressure of Adrien's grasp sinks deep into Marinette's skin as she squeaks at the sheer relief splashed across his face and through his voice.

"No problem, uh, honey."

Adrien winces at the pet name. "Uh, perhaps we should discuss specifics before dinner with Père tomorrow. I- uh, that is, we, need to get our story straight."

Marinette swallows slightly. "Sure. I have some time before I need to get back to work." Newly hungry, she spoons stew into her mouth. "You're the one with the father, you start."

Adrien looses his grip on her hand to attend to his stew. "So, I was thinking, about the pet names thing...


	2. Chapter 2

For all he vehemently refuses to budge on certain things, Adrien is surprisingly willing to let Marinette take the lead. They spend the rest of their shared lunch hour brainstorming and Marinette can feel her life getting more surreal by the minute.

She is ten minutes from the end of her lunch hour when she realises the time and has to frantically scramble out the door. Adrien insists on walking back with her, because Adrien Agreste is a _gentleman_ and extraordinarily stubborn about it.

It takes some prodding, but she manages to extract a promise of take away from Adrien for that evening just as they reach her workplace. Despite the flutter of her heart and her acute awareness of how fucking weird this entire situation is, Marinette summons the nerve to stretch up onto her tiptoes and peck Adrien on the cheek. Then, before her crush renders her incoherent, she winks at him and swings around on one heel, waving blithely in the general direction of behind herself. "See you tonight, hot stuff."

* * *

When the evening rolls around, Marinette doesn't feel nearly as bold. The prospect of having to spend so much time with Adrien without any mutual friends to act as a buffer is more than a little terrifying. She spends much of the afternoon working, but gets much less done than she would normally, thanks to fits of distraction and a general haze of nervousness.

She knows the way to where Adrien lives, has for years, but she still misses turns twice on her way over. She has a cute dress on, and Alya on standby just in case she needs a pep talk or an escape, just like every casual date she's ever been on.

Adrien swings his door open before she can knock more than once, fidgety and anxiety-quick. "Marinette! Come in!" She does. There isn't much changed except for the weird air between the pair of them, and she finds herself relaxing slightly into the familiarity of the space.

"The food isn't here yet," Adrien says from behind her. "Sorry." He's rubbing the back of his neck as he hovers behind her.

Marinette steels herself. She has a planned speech ready to go, and she's going to get it out if it kills her. "Well in that case, shall we get down to business." He blinks at her. "I brought biscuits. I thought we could eat them and make some plans for this whole…" she gestures at the pair of them, "situation. We're going to need it."

He lights up at the mention of biscuits, then grimaces slightly at the reminder of why she's here. "I really am sorry Marinette. I panicked, and…"

She cuts him off before he can get too tied up in apologies. "Adrien, it's fine. We're f-friends, you need my help. Simple as that. If I didn't feel comfortable with this, then I would have said no. Although," and here she grins, "don't tell Alya the only reason you asked me to do this was because you thought i looked like Ladybug. She'll never let it go." A moment of fear flashes across his face.

"You told Alya?"

"Adrien, she's my best friend. Of course I told her. She won't tell anyone else."

"Oh, okay."

Someone knocks at the door, heralding the arrival of their dinner, and Adrien excuses himself to go answer the door. She takes the time alone to calm herself as well as she can. Pulling off calm and confidence around Adrien is _hard_ , even with the years of practice she's had.

* * *

After the last of the food has vanished and she's tucked up on the couch, shoes off and folded underneath her, Adrien takes a deep breath and turns to properly face her. She opens the notebook she wrote down some of their ideas from earlier that day. Silence reigns supreme for all of five minutes before she can summon the wits to even open her mouth. Courage bolstered by the last shreds of Alya's most recent pep talk, she takes a deep breath and commits.

"I know we tossed around a bunch of ideas, but we're going to need a plan. You know your father best, and he's the one we need to convince, right?"

"Yeah. He's going to want to make a big deal of it, publicly. We can't just pretend in front of him, we're going to have to pretend to be dating all the time. Are you sure you're okay with doing that?"

" _Yes,_ Adrien, I'm sure. You told me this at lunch and I agreed then." She takes the risk of placing her hand on his. "Now, i was thinking, since that is the case, we're going to need to act like a proper couple, all the time yeah? So tell me, what is your father going to expect from us?

"Well…"


End file.
